Saying Goodbye

I don't do resolutions.  But I am going to say goodbye and good riddance to some painful experiences and baggage from 2011.

I am going to say goodbye to the anger and resentment I feel for my soon-to-be ex-husband.  I have to let go to move one.  There were some good moments in our relationship.  And I will try to remember those times.

Good Things......

At the risk of sounding like Martha Stewart, I am listing some of my favorite activities to help heal your body, mind, and soul and to learn and grow.


1.  Walk. 
Walk in the morning.  Walk at night.  Or on your lunch break.  Listen to some tunes.  Focus on your breath. If you have small ones, strap them in their stroller and go.  But breathe!  Notice the birds, the sounds of traffic, people, the breeze on your face, the sun, moon or stars, the smell of laundry from your neighbor's dryer vent.


2.  Run! 
My favorite.  When I finally ran a few days after my assault, I felt so alive, so grateful, and strong.  I started to remember who I was.  I wasn't a "victim" in which the police, the Assistant DA, and the court officials kept referring to me.  I was a survivor.  I was still alive, my body still worked, and my muscles were strong.  I wasn't weak!    My mind cleared, the tension in my muscles relaxed, and I began to form my plan for how I would move on with my life.  Running can be liberating and empowering.

The Journey of Letting Go and Forgiveness (or Not!)

Today marks the one year anniversary of sending my husband to jail for assault.  It has been a day of reflection for me.  I wondered how I would feel when this day came.  I could relive those awful memories of my husband slamming my head into the tile floor in front of our son or of the police handcuffing my husband and putting him in the back of the police SUV.  Or I can focus on the positive changes in my life since that terrible night.

The Dreaded Christmas Letter

Ahhh, the dreaded Christmas Letter.  A couple of good friends who I think the world of send these letters out.  They inevitably make my eyes rolls and my stomach start to hurl.  While I don't begrudge these women their supposed perfect lives, I want to say, "Come on, is everything in your life really that rosy???"  It's healthy to focus on the good things but a bit unrealistic to think one's life is all about promotions, trips to Hawaii, and your child's straight A's.

I laugh to myself when I think about what my own Christmas Letter would be for the past year.  If, of course, I was being realistic.

Let's see.  My year started with having my husband arrested for domestic violence.