This Valentine's Day...Love Yourself Enough

“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”

~ Brian L. Weiss

Damn!  Is it Valentine’s Day again already???? This day always sneaks up on me.  I’d rather just skip this day and move on to St. Patrick’s Day.  Valentine’s Day hasn’t been very romantic for me in a long, long time.  Being single, I’ve sat at home on Valentine’s Day the past two years.  During my marriage, Valentine’s Day wasn’t all that romantic either.  Granted our marriage wasn’t very healthy, but my ex-husband did make feeble attempts at being romantic on Valentine’s Day.  He tried giving me a card, and I was disappointed, because he didn’t send flowers.  He tried to send flowers.  I was hurt, because we didn’t go out to dinner.  He tried to make dinner reservations.  I felt unloved, because I wanted flowers.  I definitely did not make things easy for him.

The problem was I had these grandiose expectations in my head of what should happen on Valentine’s Day.  When my husband failed to meet these unrealistic expectations, I felt unloved.  I erroneously defined our relationship by whether he brought me flowers or not. I let my happiness be dependent on someone else. 

I now realize the insanity in this way of thinking.  There is no way I can be happy if I continuously rely on someone else to make me happy.  Happiness comes from within, and I create my own happiness.

So this Valentine’s Day I have a proposal for all of us who have been dependent on someone else for our happiness.  I propose that we forget what others think of us or do for us and just love ourselves!

This Valentine’s Day stop worrying if your husband or boyfriend is going to send flowers.  This Valentine’s Day forget about the chocolate, mushy love notes, and sexy lingerie.  This Valentine’s Day stop feeling sorry for yourself if you don’t have a date.  This Valentine’s Day we start a new tradition.  One that is far more beneficial to our sanity and well-being.  This Valentine’s Day we start loving ourselves.  “How are we going to do this," you ask?  Below are just a few of my ideas, but I’m sure there are many more.

Love yourself enough to stop worrying whether you have a date or not.

Love yourself enough to spend some time on your own.

Love yourself enough to call a friend, read a book, or take a bubble bath.

Love yourself enough to schedule a massage or a pedicure or both!

Love yourself enough to eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream while watching “Magic Mike.”

Love yourself enough to take care of your mind and body. Go outside.  Go for a walk.  Go for a hike.  Go for a run.  Just Go!

Love yourself enough to learn new things.  Visit the museum, an art gallery, or the library.  Take a class.  Join a group.  Learn how to juggle!

Love yourself enough to laugh out loud.

Love yourself enough to take a chance.

Love yourself enough to stand up for what you believe in.

Love yourself enough to walk away from those who hurt you.

Love yourself enough to let go of the past.  (If not now, when?)

Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. 

Love yourself enough to live in the present.

Love yourself enough to hope for the future.

Love yourself enough to face your fears.

Love yourself enough to try a little harder.

Love yourself enough to forgive.

Love yourself enough to move forward.

Love yourself enough to open your heart.

Love yourself enough to love a little more.

Above all, love yourself enough to know you are worth it.

Because you most certainly are. :o)